Sunday 29 April 2012

LINES....



This lie has become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear his name,


...Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For him are somehow gone,


Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs,


But last night when I saw him
For the first time since he left
My heart stopped for a moment
I couldn't catch my breath,





When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time
I just can't let him go !!!



I Too Had A Love Story - a book review


This one is a true love story – but with a sad ending as not all love stories have a ‘and they lived happily ever after’ ending. Some also conclude tragically. LOVE stories attract readers, and when they portend to be based on real-life incidents and the narrator is one of the protagonists, much more so. It is simple, poignant, honest and even touching.

The past tense in the title is intriguing, as is the dedication: "To the loving memory of the girl whom I loved, yet could not marry." That basically is the USP of I Too Had A Love Story by Ravinder Singh – whose publishers Srishti, tag it as, ‘a heartbreaking true love tale.’ And it does 
live up to its name.

Ravinder Singh, or the abbreviated Ravin, is a techie and a cosmopolitan Indian. He is a Punjabi, born in West Bengal, brought up in a small town of Orissa, who studied for his BE in Computer Science from Guru Nanak Dev Engineering College in Karnataka and now works as a software engineer with Infosys Technologies, Chandigarh.

When Ravin’s college friends meet for a reunion in Kolkata, they naturally discuss how well they have travelled the road to success and what lies ahead. By consensus, arrived after much bonhomie and consumption of considerable quantities of alcohol, the friends decide that the next step would be to look for their life partners.

Based on real-life incidents, the novel tells the story of an inexplicable bond of love between Ravin and Khushi who found each other on Shaadi.com, where their relationship becomes the most precious gift of Almighty. And eventually, they fall in love and initiate the dream of sharing a life together. But, just 5 days before the engagement, the cruel fate intervenes, and their dreams come crashing down with an unfortunate accident.

Ravin, who learned how to perform kirtan and play the tabla early in his life, had no idea that his tabla-playing ability would be a crucial link in finding him Khushi, his ladylove. A series of coincidences like their being born in the same town, and on the same day, provides the initial impetus to the budding relationship, and long phone chats follow.

In spite of huge physical distances (he is in Bhubneshwar and she in Faridabad), they come together, courtesy the communication system that enables long-distance telephony. Of course, IMs, SMSes and the like too play their role, since both Ravin and Khushi are perpetually on the Net. They exchange information, share intimacies, decide that they love each other and declare their intentions be to together forever, even though they haven’t met as yet.

When you see the exuberance of their relationship, the emotional ups and downs—mostly ups, the casual ease with which those who are destined to be together, come together and how various missteps are taken lightly and become stepping stones towards building their friendship—their declaration doesn’t sound far-fetched. At Khushi’s insistence, Ravin gathers up courage to tell his parents about the girl in his life and he is pleasantly surprised at their reaction.

Ravin’s trip to the US on business further cements the long-distance relationship, since it is because of it he meets Khushi for the first time and visits her parent’s house in Faridabad.
Full credit goes to the writer, Ravinder Singh, who keeps the story focused. Everything is real in the book. Ravinder and Khushi have never seen each other, but love has made them one. The writer has successfully brought out the depth of their relationship through the lively and graphic delineation of their conversation, feelings and emotions. The readers can feel their warmth and closeness in the lively and picturesque account of how they longed to be with each other in the rain, the coaxing and cajoling after the tiffs and trying to feel each other in imagination.
Reading this book is all the more enjoyable as the reader relates and identifies with the writer. Impatiently waiting for the next phone call, little surprises bringing them closer, late night conversations, tears and smiles, all these make it a read-till-finish book.

The throbbing curiosity, the irrepressible apprehensions and the overpowering excitement and happiness to meet Khushi in person for the first time takes the story to a crescendo of feelings, emotion and action. Soft and light hearted humor strewn throughout adds an entertainment quotient to the story. The writer tickles a funny bone as he talks about his paranoia when revealing his affair to his parents.

The people, places and especially how they interact with one another. For instance, there is a part in the book, when the narrator recalls an incident when he had to choose between a game of snooker with friends or spend a date with his love, Khushi.


He decides to hang out with his friends instead and follows a turn of unhappy events. Khushi messages him saying “U might be happy 2 win d tournament, bt someday u might b sad, wen u might wish 2 tlk 2 me bt I might b nt b able 2 do so”. The message is an albatross that Ravin wears when an accident has taken place and Khushi grapples for life in an ICU-this moment is an innocent expression of unhappiness at its ominous best. Tear will roll down when an accident leave Khushi battling with death and Ravinder shattered. It reminds that a beloved can save his love till where God intervenes.

Along with the innate beauty of their
love story, the expression of the subtle emotions in the most simple and lucid way makes it special. The fact that the writer does not make any effort to impress the readers with lofty words and articulations point to the honesty of the writer’s feelings.

His narrative is compelling, his emotions reflect a felt experience, and the denouement is touching. In this book, Singh has beautifully portrayed various emotions of life and love, its trials and tribulations, victory and defeat. He laments that his was not "the fate to cherish the fullest form of love". His tribute to the girl he loved will touch many a heart and strike a chord with the readers.

A CELEBRATED maxim says that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Ravinder Singh’s ‘I Too Had A Love Story’ proves the maxim true and beautifully depicts the beauty and power of true love through the writer’s own heart touching love story.
The writer has summed up the essence of his story in the most appealing terms. Not everyone in this world has the fate to cherish the fullest form of love. Some are born, just to experience the abbreviation of it.


“They say, don’t cry because it’s over but instead smile because it happened. This inherent hope and optimism is what this book embodies. As we accompany Ravin on his journey to find happiness, we go through a range of emotions. From initial excitement to elation, from contentment to anticipation, despair to devastation and finally a sense of resurrection, we see it all through Ravin’s eyes. I too had a love story is a simple story of love, about trysts of destiny that make up life as we know it. I commend Ravin on having the courage to share something so personal with the world.”

Those for whom love is the most beautiful feeling above human definitions and parameters the book will make for an ever cherished experience.









ANTI - DOWRY



DOWRY – the demon claimed 8391 lives across India in the year 2000. Which means a bride is burnt almost every hour across the country. We all boast of a lot being done and so many stringent laws introduced to curb the devil of dowry through all these years, then Why this spurt in bride burnings?

This barbarism owes its very existence to ‘widening social gaps, disintegration of the joint family system, consumerism, globalization and commercialization of marriage. So eventually, it is a rhetorical question because the outcome is known and of course is well in control of both the parents and children. It is up to you to decide whether you want your marriage be a ‘MATRIMONY’ OR just a ‘MATRIMONEY’.

“We request your gracious & benign presence to solemnize the divine Marriage of our daughter ………..” this is the common invite we receive, right? But, please hold on to your feelings for you may be elated or perturbed……you never know!

Marriage is an entity of benign omens and configurations made in heavens. It is a gracious threshold to unification of two souls and two subsequent families.  But soon these heavenly bonds and configurations turn into ugly demands, unethical expectations and harassments.

As a prime religious ceremony of Hindu wedding, its zenith lies in a Father’s courage to give away his piece of heart to another man in ‘KANYA DAAN'.

On daughter’s part … Dad, at this hour, this moment I am flying far away to a different nest.  My letters shall be your only memories now and your teachings my only precepts.  I hope my new life is filled with Happiness & joy. 
I hope…. Just hope.  It must take a father’s breath away to give away his child with such deep feelings and subconscious fear for his daughter’s well being in her new life. 

Marriage is invoking loud chants, seven circuits of the holy fire, an inception of blushing emotions, a moment of coy as the bride and the groom decide to share their life together, by conjoining and vowing to be inseparable.  The couple vows each other’s Healthy relationship, Righteous Lifestyle, Prosper Living, Harmony & Faith. Thus creating a family together, praying for longevity of their marital relationship and loyalty to sustain companionship. 


If these are the Sacraments we preach and practice over centuries in India, THEN WHY? 
WHY does the Holy Fire change into a Burning pyre? 
WHY some brides are estranged, silently suppressed, Emotionally Harassed and some burnt to DEATH?
Is the idea of marriage – a companionship or a competitive sale?
Has Education and Urbanization taught us nothing at all?
Has religious devotion taught us to suck Father’s blood if he desires to see his daughter settled happily?
When shall we cease inequalities between Daughters and Daughters – in – law?
The people who are bargaining their sons today, will they be even ready to bargain their daughters tomorrow?
Is being educated, belonging to a good family & having values just not enough for being happily Married?
How would it feel to lose a young daughter?  How would it feel to hear her cry?
How would it feel to face such a crises which haunts more fathers and most daughters in India?
If Dowry means “STRI DHAN” then why is she tormented and trampled for her own wealth?

Who should be blamed for Dowry as a social parasite?  The girl’s parents, the girl herself, the in-laws or the society and its state of mind that forces us to such immoral acts through its injurious social comparisons.

Is India really worthy of containing the benefits of Globalization if its daughters are strangled by such a social evil?
These are some questions that dismay parents in India and abroad as their daughters turn marriageable or are in a marital relationship. 

If we still wait for somebody else to be a Spartan to SAY NO then who shall be the one to pull the string? Who would be the one to break this vicious cycle? 

Today it is happening to someone else’s daughter. Tomorrow, it could be you or your daughter.

THINK ABOUT IT!

Let Marriage remain a social institution, a spiritual unification and not a daunting auction!
DON’T LET SOMEONE CRY……. DON’T LET SOMEONE DIE…….
SAY NO TO DOWRY - MAY IT BE GIVING OR TAKING.

Today, Let us pray for all those precious lives that have been lost over the years on account of Dowry harassment, Suicides and burning of brides and vow to tear off the social evil of Dowry from our lives.


IMPORTANCE OF GANDHI JI’S PRINCIPLES IN TODAY’S WORLD

“Gandhism” – the ism that germinated in Nineteenth century from the soils of a tiny field of Porebander in Gujarat - India is now sheltering almost every other ism in today’s world – the world which has totally revolutionized and changed manifolds since then and seen changing of many isms like weathers.  Now to wander whether this Gandhism is of any importance in today’s World? is quite laughable.

   The chemistry of soils, the world’s physique and the shape of the continents has                      changed since then.  The dynasties have emerged and vanished, the living have become extinct and new breeds have evolved but the Golden Principles of “Peace and Non-violence” preached by that lean & thin body with a strong soul – The Satyagrehi Bapu has not faded a shade.

If at all anything has changed – Shape of the tyrant has changed, the struggle has changed, the war field has changed, the values have changed.  If anything has remained unchanged, it is the simple but most strategic point of Gandhism, his values and his techniques.

It started with a challenge to Imperialism about its slaveries, It became a challenge for the Nazism, It became a challenge for National dividers and now it is needed to fight the slavery of our egoistic minds. Since then – Till today it is fighting the forces that tend to make us slaves and is fighting them in the most effective manner.
       

Now, What is Gandhism? OR What did he preach?  This colossal question has a very thin and very humble answer. The Gandhism is to fight against the negative forces with a blunt weapon of PEACE which is not a theory or saying alone. 

But, it is a complete ANGER MANAGEMENT SYSTEM in itself.
PEACE IS PLEASURE - The First & Foremost human requirement.

PEACE IS ETERNITY  -  The First condition towards Genuity of that Pleasure.

PEACE IS AESTHETIC - Purity that is Eternally Pleasure full.

PEACE IS COMMON   -  Aesthetics for Common cause can only be Eternal and

PEACE IS ENTIRE -  The Pleasure can be for common cause only if covers the entire Genre.

To fulfill the above said goal a Formula has to be adopted.  The same is suggested by the Mahatama in his system for Anger Management - the system that tells us ways to keep our cool, even under the Most Explosive situations. The Saint preached and suggested to THINK…………..· 

The humble matchstick has a head but no brains.  Therefore, whenever there is a little friction, it immediately flares up and burns itself first.·  You and we have heads as well as brains. Let us not react impulsively. Always smile – will make others feel the heat.·  Remember – He always told that Anger is Just one letter short of Danger.

So – Folks, Yester years, the moments of today and the times ahead infinitely are going to witness Gandhism as the only and only way to come out of any drudgery in this World. Lets stand up and pay our standing ovation our Tributes to Every day’s “Gandhi Giri”. 

‘Serving’ all the time,
all the way

For most people, MLA Jai Bhagwan Aggarwal is merely a politico.  But in an exclusive interview with
Ishita Sawhney
He reveals that he’s always been a ‘SEVAK’

Aggarwal a four-time MLA –This time from ROHINI constituency of North West Delhi joined the BJP in 1993. A graduate from Shivaji College, Delhi – Jai Bhagwan Aggarwal was an assistant health inspector with the Municipal Corporation of Delhi from 1973 to 1986.

He resigned from that job to open a showroom selling electronic items. Aggarwal left that business also and then opened a travel agency, which is now managed by his sons.

At the age of 42 in 1993, he entered politics and contested the Delhi Assembly elections. Wife Krishna Aggarwal is a homemaker. They have three sons.   


When asked “Why he chose to be a politico after abandoning two of his ventures?” 
Sh. Jai Bhagwan  Aggarwal replied – Business  was never made for him as he always wanted to serve his people. `Arrey hum to apnee Janta ke sevak hain, Dhandha  kabhi  hamara  tha hi  nahin.’  

“If business was not made for http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0XmAoEzUn0y09ybm_29uTnJNe8_psf7Bt0wDLvusqSv_Adi0uPAyou, then why did you leave your Municipal  job?”
As already said I wanted to serve my people. That is my passion.

“If serving people was your passion, then why did you leave your Municipal job? There also you were serving people”
As you know that while in a job one cannot socialize and work for people openly and also justify his job simultaneously so I had to choose one and I chose service to people.

“Or was it that politics was more lucrative than any other thing?”
Had I been after money, then my business was also paying me well.  Still my children are handling it and earning from it.

“How do you satisfy yourself that you are able to target your goal well?”
During last elections in 2008, the Congress Government headed by Smt. Sheila Dixit cut sized and shuffled the constituencies to favour their candidates which changed the results of the elections – At that crucial time too my people favoured me with their love.

“Is this love for work limited to your constituency only?”
I am attached to  Shri Vatsalya Gram project at Vrindavan under the Able guidance of  Didi Ritambhra ji.

“How you feel you are a true Nationalist?”
It is not the question of just my feeling – It is How my people take me to be – Moreover I am a true soldier of BJP.

“How is it that you still travel in an  Ambasador car, when people have taken to new models?”
It again tells you about my Nationalistic values. However, I do not define or support  this alone as criteria.

“Does KRISHNA JI also take part in political activites?”
She is the most major Force behind me, I believe.

“How do you see the future of India?”
I am a staunch believer of Hindustanism and believe that there is an unmatched potential available from our cultural heritage and We – Indians would not let go waste, the efforts of people who got India liberated from the British.

“How would you like to address the youth force of India?”
Youth are our Past, Present and Future. Our youth are the most viberant Force in the World and WE base all our Hopes on our confidence in them.




COMMUNICATION



The English word ‘communication’ is derived from the Latin noun ‘communis’ and the Latin verb ‘communicare’ which means ‘to make common’, and so the idea of commonality is frequently stressed in talking about communication. Terms closely related to communication and with similar etymological origins include community, communion, commonality, communalism and communism. The Sanskrit term “sadharanikaran” comes closest to the sense of ‘common’ or ‘commonness’ usually associated with communication. Sadharanikaran is a social process which can be achieved only among ‘sahridayas’, people with a capacity to receive messages. This is an innate ability acquired through culture, adaptation or learning. The focus here is not on the sender but the receiver of the message. Moreover, communication according to this Sanskrit concept is a relationship based on common and mutual understanding and feeling, for sahridaya literally means ‘of one and the same heart’.


‘Communication’ (together with its twin ‘information’) is perhaps one of the most loosely defined terms in contemporary media, cultural and organizational studies. Perhaps it is because the term encompasses a multitude of experiences, actions and events, as well as a whole variety of happenings and meanings, and technologies. Thus, a conference or a meeting or even a procession or get-together is a ‘communication event’, newspapers, radio, video and television are ‘communication media’, phones, computers, satellites and the internet are ‘communication technologies’, and journalists, advertisers, public relations personnel, and even camera crew and news-readers are ‘communication professionals.’


Interaction, interchange, transaction, dialogue, sharing, communion and commonness are the ideas that crop up in any attempt to define the term ‘communication’. According to Denis McQuail, communication is a process which increases commonality, but also requires elements of commonality for it to occur at all.” Newman and Summer describe communication as an exchange of facts, ideas, opinions, emotions by two or more persons. On the other hand, Peter Little says thatCommunication is the process by which information is transmitted between individuals and/or organization so that an understanding response results.”


The definitions of communication, as the saying goes, are dime a dozen, depending upon one’s perception and point of view, like: sharing of experience on the basis of commonness(Wilbur Schramm); one mind affecting another (Claud Shannon); the transfer or conveying of meaning (Oxford Dictionary).





So basically, communication is the dynamic process of sending and receiving information. It is the vehicle through which we develop, maintain and improve human relationships and thus, build a foundation of healthy organisational behaviour and sociology of work. Ashley Montagu and Floyd Matson go a step further in this regard. In their view ‘human communication’, as the saying goes, is a clash of symbols, and it covers a multitude of signs. But it is more than media and message, information and persuasion; it also meets a deeper need and serves a higher purpose. Whether clear or garbled, tumultuous or silent, deliberate or fatally inadvertent, communication is the ground of meeting and the foundation of the community. It is, in short, the essential human connection.


Now, if we try to put some light upon the functions of communication; we shall find that the primary function of communication is to inform, educate, entertain and influence people to help them work smoothly. It has a secondary function to perform as well, through debates and discussions, cultural promotion and integration, it fosters creativity and understanding among people, groups, and societies so that they live in peace and harmony. There are certain elements of the entire communication process, such as source, message, channel, receiver and feedback.


Communication has been classified into several types: in terms of verbal and non-verbal; the technological and non-technological; the mediated and non-mediated, the participatory and the non-participatory, and so on. Some of the levels of communication are-
Intra-personal Communication: It is individual reflection, contemplation and meditation. Basically, intrapersonal communication means talking, listening and relating to oneself. This helps us conceptualizing and formulating our thoughts and ideas before one actually indulges in overt communication.







Interpersonal/Face-to-face communication: It refers to a dialogue or a conversation without the intervention of another person or a machine like the telephone or a two-way radio or television set-up. It is personal, direct, and intimate, allowing for maximum interaction and exchange in word and gesture. Indeed, it is the highest, the most perfect form of communication that two persons can attain. It is more persuasive and influential than any other type of communication, for it involves the interplay of words and gestures, the warmth of human closeness and in fact all the five senses. It is also possible to influence the other person and persuade him or her to accept your point of view as it has an emotional appeal.

Group Communication: It is an extension of interpersonal communication, which provides with an opportunity for people to come together and discuss topics of common interest. It serves many goals like collective decision-making, self expression, increasing one’s effect, elevating one’s status, relaxation etc.


Public Communication: In this sort of communication, there is one speaker at one moment and the rest is audience. And, the size of audience becomes larger.

Mass Communication: It is that mechanical device that multiplies messages and takes it to a large number of people simultaneously. It is a particular kind of communication in which the nature of audience and the feedback is different from the interpersonal communication. Here the recipients or for that matter the audience is large, heterogeneous and anonymous in character. And, feedback for instance is slow and weak as it is not direct.   



Last but not the least, lets know about the essential 7 C’s of communication process. Credibility: It means that the communicated message should be worth believing.
Context: The communication should always be in relation to the context of the work being executed.
Content: It should be reliable to gain support and appreciation of the masses.
Clarity: It should be sans any errors, confusing or manipulated text, slangs, jargons etc.
Consistency and Continuity: The message should be drafted in a firm manner, and not in a haphazard way.
Channel: It refers to the various mediums used in communication, which should be apt in accordance to the receivers.
Capability: The sender must assure the ability of the audience to interpret the message correctly.

MARKS ALONE MAKE A MARK




“Marks alone make a mark” is more of a myth than reality.
Had it been a reality -  than there would have been no practicals and vivae in our examination patterns and we would have been judged from our theoretical performances alone.

Marks and just marks having no practical application of our knowledge would be no more than a mere brain drain, where we are not putting our thoughts to any useful practicality.

By saying this I do not assert that marks are not required or are not important.  What I mean to say is that if a person with marks’ obtaining ability has a well cultured personality too, he becomes a gem.  It’s just like a diamond that attains its value only when it is well cut and polished. 


Here, I would like to remember the great Mahatma – the Father of our nation and his lines wherein he said – ‘ Education is bringing out the best in ones body, mind and soul. From the lines it is quite pertinent that he meant and preached about the all round development of a person.





As we all know that in today’s most competitive world we have to face certain important dilemmas and take proper decisions well in time.  Again for that we require a healthy mind in healthy body with logical thinking.

Going for greater studies, for clinging to career opportunities and to prove ourselves in this tough world, we have to be open minded, supported by vast exposures and expressive of the ideas under the skull.  It is very common to have group discussions and open debates at every step of life and to emerge above others on such occasions, one has to be  self confident and clear about the principles of life.

In the end, I would like to conclude that anybody working in any field must obtain good marks, as that tells us about his hold on the subject but only by utilizing his I.Q. properly can place him to some mark in the society. 

Here, I would like to append by quoting Shri Sathya Sai baba as he rightly said “Education should instill sterling virtues, good intellect, truthfulness, duty, discipline and devotion.” He told us that no education is complete until it is mixed up with the said other qualities.